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| July 10 — It’s the moment every computer user fears most — you hit the “on” button and nothing happens. But if you take your computer in for repair, how do you know you’re getting the right diagnosis or the cheapest fix? Three years ago, Chief Consumer Correspondent Lea Thompson asked that question and got some troubling answers. Recently, she went undercover with the editors of “PC World” Magazine for the latest in a “Dateline NBC” Hidden Camera Investigation. |
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| FOR MANY Americans, it’s become an indispensible home appliance just like the coffee maker or the microwave. By some estimates, more than half of American households now own a personal computer. Increasingly, we depend on them to do everything from telecommuting to buying groceries online. But few of us have any idea of what actually goes on inside our machines. So if your PC crashed, would you know if you’re paying the right price for the right repair? |
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| In one case we previously told you about, a repair salesman told a customer the computer’s hard drive was bad and the AC adapter should be replaced. That repair would cost hundreds of dollars, but the company is about to be charged with fraud because the customer was really an undercover investigator from the New York City Department of Consumer Affairs. And the only thing wrong with the laptop was a minor software glitch that could be easily fixed in seconds. |
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| PC World magazine purchased 18 identical used computers and ran them through a battery of sophisticated diagnostic programs to make sure all worked properly. |
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| It was three years ago that “Dateline” first reported this story, showing you how some computer stores were ripping consumers off. |
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| It happened to consumers like writer Melanie Thernstrom, who says that same store threatened to wreck her laptop when she balked at an $1,100 repair bill. |
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| “And I heard him say ‘I have a mind to erase her d*** hard disk and then we’ll have the only copy of her precious data,’” says Thernstrom. “And I started screaming at him. ‘I can’t believe you said that.’” |
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| Because her book manuscript was on her hard drive, Thernstrom paid the bill. But she says when she finally got her computer back, it was completely fried. |
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| “They positively tampered with my computer,” she says. |
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| New York City alleged the company committed fraud. While admitting no wrongdoing, the store did pay $12,000 in fines and restitution to customers, including Thernstrom. |
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| But “Dateline” found it wasn’t just dishonest repairmen that consumers had to worry about. Back then, with our own hidden cameras, we showed you how, time and again, well-meaning technicians misdiagnosed minor repair problems as costly and difficult fixes. |
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| In Dateline’s investigation, almost 40 percent of the machines we took in for minor repairs were not fixed properly. Have things changed in three years? That’s an eon in computer time. Today’s systems with DVD drives, DSL lines, CD burners and 3-D graphics are more complex than ever. And now many families can’t live without them. So when the editors of PC World magazine invited “Dateline” on their multi-state investigation of computer repair, we were happy to join them. |
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| PC World magazine purchased 18 identical used computers and ran them through a battery of sophisticated diagnostic programs to make sure all worked properly. A PC World technician removed a ribbon cable from each machine, purposefully damaged it, and then reinstalled it. The cable connects the “motherboard” — the brains of the computer — to the hard drive. That’s where all the computer’s files are stored. |
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| With a bad cable, the computer doesn’t run. A repairman might at first conclude that the hard drive or the motherboard isn’t working. But replacing either of those expensive components is unnecessary. The right fix would be a new cable for about $5 plus labor. |
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| PC World testers then took the disabled computers to the three largest national chain stores and to local repair shops in six states. Editors Harry McCracken and Anush Yegyazarian led the team. |
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| What are your odds of getting your computer fixed at the right price? “Well, if your experience is like ours, your odds may not be very good,” says Yegyazarian. |
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| Experts at PC World magazine reveal what you need to know when your computer is on the blink |
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| Instead of identifying the bad cable, a small store in Rhode Island charged PC World almost $360 to replace the motherboard. The full total was $359.55. |
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| That shop estimated it would cost $400 to fix the computer because something was wrong with both the motherboard and the hard drive. But the PC World technician, simply by replacing the cable, was able to get the machine up and running. |
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| The store’s owner told “Dateline” she believes the motherboard was broken and because the old board is gone, no one can prove otherwise. But PC World tested the board before it went into the shop and the odds of it breaking on the way were very unlikely. |
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| At a New Jersey shop, the news was even worse. That shop estimated it would cost $400 to fix the computer because something was wrong with both the motherboard and the hard drive. The technician said, “The hard drive itself is physically corrupted and it does have a bad system board.” |
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| But the PC World technician, simply by replacing the cable, was able to get the machine up and running. |
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| “We know the mother board was fine,” said the PC World technician. “The hard drive was fine. The simple swapping the cable, that solved the problem.” |
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| Both the New Jersey store and the Rhode Island store, however, told “Dateline” that PC World’s test was unfair because those ribbon cables rarely go bad. |
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| Was this test fair? “It absolutely was a fair test,” says Harry McCracken. “It’s not the most common problem that happens to computers, but it does happen.” |
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| Anush Yegyazarian says, “Especially given that this is such an easy thing to check for if you think to do it.” |
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| Brant Calkin, owner of PC Upgraders, a local store in Wilmington, N.C., says, “It’s unusual, but it’s simple.” |
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| He made no excuses when he learned his shop had not checked the cable. The mistake cost PC World nearly $300 for a new motherboard and several other components. |
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| The technician at his shop had said, “So the board itself is bad. Yeah.” |
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| “You do the simple thing first,” says Calkin. “And it wasn’t done. So it’s extremely rare, but it’s still inexcusable on our part.” |
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| How did computer repair stores do?
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| So what about the national chains? Our first stop was Best Buy. A Rhode Island Best Buy store found the bad cable and replaced it for $70. In Texas, it cost $25. And in California, Best Buy actually fixed the cable for free. |
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| A Best Buy technician in Denver, however, concluded the motherboard was the problem. |
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| Did he say he checked the cable? “The technician told our reporter that he had checked the cable,” says Yegazarian. |
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| With three out of four right, however, Best Buy did fare better than in our story three years ago. In a letter, the company told “Dateline” it “has implemented significant improvements in services for our customers in the past year,” and that the results of this year’s test, “indicate we have gained ground in our customer service and repair, but there is continued room for improvement.” |
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| The next chain we tried was CompUSA. It had a perfect score in our last story, and this year, the first three CompUSA stores, including one in Rhode Island, tested the cable and fixed the computer for a flat $100 fee. |
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| At the Rhode Island CompUSA, they said, “I’ve had that happen like four or five times and it’s like, OK, we’ve replaced a couple of parts and we’re like, OK, you know what, we’ll change the cable this time. And it works.” |
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| But a New York City CompUSA was tripped up by the cable. They said, “Basically, what you would have to do, is if you want to repair this, get a new system board for it.” |
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| And how much is that? The New York CompUSA said, “What we can get it for is $627.” |
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| “That’s kind of high,” says Anush Yegazarian. |
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| Even the technician told PC World that was too much. New York CompUSA said, “Like I told you, I wouldn’t fix it. We sell computers that are like $500 and $600. And they’re a lot more powerful.” |
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| Overall, which company performed the worst? “Of the chains, it has to be Circuit City,” says Harry McCracken. “They didn’t have a single, a real success story.” |
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| A Rhode Island Circuit City told PC World it had a bad hard drive that wasn’t cost-effective to fix. And a Circuit City in Houston charged more than $200 for a new hard drive — $213.95. |
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| Is there any question in PC World’s mind that the Circuit City store in Houston sold them a hard drive that you didn’t need? |
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| “No,” says Yegyazarian. “We reinstalled the original drive. We got that part back from Circuit City. And it worked.” |
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| What’s worse, by replacing the computer’s hard drive, Circuit City removed all the data from the machine. |
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| “Our data was completely gone,” says Yegyazarian. |
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| That’s a nightmare. “And completely unnecessary,” says McCracken. |
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| Yegyazarian agrees, “I mean your data’s the single most important part of your PC.” |
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| Circuit City declined Dateline’s request for an on-camera interview, but off-camera it said that its technicians in Rhode Island and Houston “over-diagnosed” a “nonstandard repair problem,” and said it is working to prevent this from happening in the future. |
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| At the same time, however, Circuit City applauded its Houston store — the one that sold PC World a hard drive it didn’t need and returned the computer with no data — for “accommodating the customer by getting the computer up and running.” |
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| But Yegyazarian was not convinced: “They returned a computer that turned on and found its hard disk, but I wouldn’t necessarily say it was ready to work.” |
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| In all, PC World sent out 18 computers for repairs and says 11 were not fixed properly. |
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| That’s worse than what “Dateline” found three years ago, and though the PC World editors sampled just a small number of repair stores around the country, they believe it’s not good news for the millions of Americans who’ve come to rely on their home computers. |
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| “When you walk into a store, you don’t know what’s going to be wrong,” says Yegyazarian. “And the difference between changing a $5 part and changing a $300, $400, $500 part is a big one.” |
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| The point is hardly lost on Brant Calkin, the owner of that North Carolina store that mistook a quick fix into a $300 repair. “People don’t have a lot of extra money that they can spend on things they don’t need,” says Calkin. “So we would rather have replaced his cable and done his labor and then let him go.” |
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| How can you protect yourself? First, and you’ve heard this before, back up your data. Get a second opinion before any repairs or scrapping a trusty machine. And if you do make repairs, ask for the parts back.
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| How to politely lighten your load - From Women's Consumer Network |
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| Sometimes the reason that women are so pressed for time is that we have trouble saying no to all the requests that come our way. You know, the requests to volunteer at school, handle that last-minute project at work, host the next big family gathering or find the shower gift for the office colleague who’s having a baby next month. |
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| But if you can learn to say no sometimes, two things will happen, says Jennifer White, president of JWC Group, a success-coaching firm in Cincinnati, Ohio. "First, you’re back in control of a life that has spiraled out of control. Second, you find yourself with energy, momentum and chunks of time to accomplish what you want to do." |
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| One of the first steps in learning how to say no is figuring out what pushes your "yes" buttons. According to White, who is also the author of Work Less, Make More (Wiley & Sons, 1999), the phrases that tend to sway many of us are: "You’re so good at …" and "You have to help me. If you don’t, no one will." |
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| "Once you know what triggers you to say yes when you want to say no, you can move into action — actually saying no," says White, who suggests starting small by saying no to at least one thing every day. "You can practice by saying no to telemarketers." |
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| "The real key to saying no is being gracious, polite and authentic," says White, noting that women have to get over the idea that saying no is blunt, rude, obnoxious or hurtful. |
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| Here are some approaches to try: |
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| It doesn’t get much simpler than this. "All you have to say is ‘Thank you very much. I’m not interested.’ Then, say no more or you ruin the effect," says White. Excuses are not necessary. |
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| "I appreciate your asking me, but I’m not able to do it." This acknowledges that it was thoughtful of the other person to ask but still gets your point across clearly and succinctly. "This type of no is good to use with people who are very demanding; people who are in positions of respect or with whom you have fragile relationships," says White. |
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| "I wish I could, but it’s not convenient," or "I’m sorry, but I’m overloaded with responsibilities right now." According to White, the real masters of this technique actually get other people to apologize for even making the request. |
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| The 'It’s someone else’s decision' no |
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| "Corporate America loves this no — businesspeople use it all the time," says White. So do girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives. However, you should only rely on this no if the decision is truly a joint one. Otherwise, saying no can backfire if the person who is making the request checks in with your fellow decision maker before you do. |
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| The 'My family is the reason' no |
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| Women don’t use this no nearly as much as they can. "Thank you very much for the invitation. It’s the day of my son’s soccer game and I never miss them." Other reasons include birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, performances and miscellaneous celebrations. But if you use this excuse, just be sure it’s legitimate. |
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| The 'I know someone else' no |
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| Consider this response: "I just don’t have the time to help you, but let me recommend someone else I know." This way, you say no but you are still offering assistance, which softens the blow. |
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| The 'I’m already booked' no |
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| This is how you say no to all those people who call and try to get you to move meetings that are already scheduled or want you to renege on time you’ve set aside for yourself or your family. Your response should be, "I appreciate your thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’m already booked that day." |
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| Choose approaches that work for you and for the situation, but just be sure to choose, says White. |
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| "Never, ever say 'maybe.' Maybe is only a way of postponing a decision. When you know you want to say no, say no." |
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| WHY IS IT that researchers find it necessary to clog up their conclusions with silly alliterations and phony rhyme-song so that they end up sounding like Walt “Clyde” Frazier shaking and baking and scuffling and shuffling his way across the airwaves during a New York Knicks broadcast? Never mind. Back to my stress. I’ve got my friend Pete on the phone. I tell him that I feel really stressed out, that I’ve had a really bad day. |
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| “Get over it,” he advises.
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| And there you have it. Even when a bummed-out guy tries to do a little tending and befriending, he’s hard pressed to find someone willing to be tended and befriended. If a guy has trouble listening to his wife’s litany of woes, why is it going to be any easier with a friend? |
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| Let’s back up a little. In case you missed it, much has been made of some recent research, scheduled to be published later this year, that found that women react to stress differently than men do, turning to their children and seeking out friends instead of summoning up the “fight-or-fight” reflex commonly used by men. (Notice that the researchers made no mention of women seeking out their husbands or boyfriends when troubled.) |
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| Healthy Eve: a woman's view
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| The study, which looked at several hundred previous studies on rats, primates and humans, suggests that the tend and befriend strategy calms women. The researchers, from the University of California at Los Angeles, say the response may explain why women are less likely to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol and have fewer stress-related disorders, such as hypertension, than men. |
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| Some have gone so far as to suggest that the gender difference in life span — women live on average about seven and a half years longer than men — may be related to different coping styles. |
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| Many studies have shown that females of a variety of species, when facing a predator, crisis or just a bad hair day tend to respond by fussing over their children or offspring and seeking support from others, particularly other females. |
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| Men and the males of many other species, by contrast, puff up their chests and stand their ground — fight — or hit the road. Dr. Jean Chen Shih, a professor of molecular pharmacology and toxicology at the University of Southern California, says male mice she has studied will fight an intruder placed in their cage but females will not. |
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| Now, it’s not difficult to see the utility of the male response to trouble — or at least how it evolved. Females generally have some tough jobs — giving birth and all that — but males historically have been expected to be protectors. Nature seems to mediate the different behaviors. The UCLA researchers, for instance, say the different coping styles may be linked to the hormone oxytocin, which is released during stress and makes both rats and humans calmer, less afraid and more sociable. Both men and women secrete the hormone, but other male hormones diminish its effect, while the female hormone estrogen amplifies it. |
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| Are you caught in the stress cycle?
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| So what are men supposed to make of this information? Chen believes they could take a page from the women’s stress coping manual when facing a crisis and seek out others. As modern creatures who no longer need to fend off marauding Visigoths, we could seek the chilling-out effects of talk and comradeship. |
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| But the fact is biology will get in the way. “There’s a biological basis for the difference in coping styles,” says Brian B. Doyle, a clinical professor of psychiatry and family medicine at Georgetown Medical School. |
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| And really, what’s so great about female passivity? If I were a rat and some stranger came sniffing around my cage, would I really want to deal with the threat by petting my babies and clustering around a bunch of other frightened females while the intruder makes off with our kibble? |
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| So what will work for men? Talking with buddies is not likely to reduce stress levels, but nesting with a certain special someone can. Married men live a lot longer than unmarried men, primarily because of the soothing effects of their special tender-befriender. |
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| Men can also do a variation on the fight/flight response. They can burn the same number of calories they would in grappling or fleeing by working out — and reduce, not increase, stress. |
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| The point is, of course, you can never review any of this research in a vacuum. Take another recent study, which received far less attention. |
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| According to researchers at the University of Michigan, when women are sad or mad — stressed, in other words — they’re more likely than men to repeatedly mull over their problems. “The gender differences were quite pronounced,” says psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, who conducted the study. “Women’s stronger emotional ties to others, compared to men’s, may contribute to their tendency to ruminate.” |
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| As for men ... well, Nolen-Hoeksema found that when men are upset they’re more likely to grab a beer. And as long as it’s done in moderation, this shows that even when they’re ticked off, men know how to have a little fun. |
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| By David Dudley WebMD Medical News
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| May 29, 2000 -- Lily Hearst is nearly 103 years old. All her life she has been healthy and active -- skiing, skating, canoeing. The Berkeley, Calif., centenarian makes it a point to swim every day. She also continues to teach piano, to advanced students only, at the senior center where she eats lunch each day. |
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| Hearst is among the unprecedented number of people now living to 100 and beyond, many of them in startlingly good health. At the end of the 19th century, when she was born, about one in 100,000 Americans was 100 or more years old. Today, the figure is one in 8,000 to 10,000 and climbing. And for each of these centenarians, there are many people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s who retain a level of vigor that defies all stereotypes of the elderly. (See Let the Senior Games Begin.) |
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| Who can expect to blow out 100 candles someday? "To live to the 100s," says Thomas Perls, MD, MPH, "I would wager you need what I call genetic booster rockets." Perls, acting chief of gerontology at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston and assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, is the founder and director of the ongoing New England Centenarian Study (NECS), and a co-author of Living to 100: Lessons in Living to Your Maximum Potential at Any Age. |
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| The NECS, a series of ongoing studies, is an effort to explore longevity predictors by tracking the health habits of scores of people who are age 100 and above. |
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| Gaining an Extra 10 Years |
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| Based on findings from the study so far, Perls says it may require an exceptional genetic edge to live to 100. But most of us ought to be able to live into our mid 80s, nearly 10 years longer than the current average lifespan of 77 years in the United States and other industrialized countries. |
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| So why the decade of difference between our genetic allowance and our actual average lifespan? Blame most of it on our bad habits. |
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| Smoking, for instance, increases dramatically the risk of cancer, hardening of the arteries, and heart disease. Many people eat a terrible diet, downing gobs of hydrogenated fats that weren't even around to tempt today's centenarians in their youth. Excess intake of these hydrogenated fats increases the risk of hardening of the arteries and heart disease. Half the population is overweight, which increases the risk of heart problems and other ailments. |
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| Only 10% to 15% of people over 65 exercise regularly, says Perls, leading to an increased risk of osteoporosis, depression, and other health problems and an unnecessary loss of healthy years. |
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| Not Just a Longer Life, But a Better One |
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| The reason Perls would like to see people take better care of their health is not simply to add a decade or so, just for the mathematical thrill of it. Better health habits, he says, won't only boost your chances of living longer but may also shorten the period of ill health before death. So you're likely to have not just a longer life but a better one. |
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| The idea that "the older you get, the sicker you get" is wrong, says Perls. The Centenarian Study findings suggest that those who reach extreme old age do so precisely by avoiding ill health, rather than by enduring it. |
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| This is not to say that the oldest old have led especially easy lives when it comes to external circumstances. But the NECS finds that centenarians tend to be optimistic and adaptable and to shed stress effectively, serving as good examples for the rest of us. |
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| It may sound trite, but it's never too late to change our health habits and vow to take better care of ourselves. Through good clean living, the majority of us can lengthen our lives, Perls' studies suggest. |
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| Herman Arrow is an example of this thinking. Longevity doesn't exactly run in his family. He can think of one relative who lived to be 92, but most of the people in his family have succumbed to heart disease long before reaching their 90s. Arrow himself had quadruple bypass surgery when he was 66. "We have some unpleasant genes somewhere in the background," he laughs. |
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| He hadn't done much in the way of sports since high school, but after his surgery he thought he'd better start getting some exercise again. Now he is 80 years old and an avid race walker. Over the last several years he has won gold and silver medals in the California State Senior Games, and silver and bronze medals in the National Senior Games. He also takes satisfaction in his work as founder and president of the Marin County chapter of Mended Hearts, an organization of heart disease survivors who support others undergoing treatment. |
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| As Arrow's experience shows, it's never too late to turn over a new leaf -- though it's advisable to check in with your doctor before beginning any new workout routine |
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| "It's those older years that are so worth fighting for," says Perls. "The best time of your life can be in your 70s, 80s, and 90s, if you've got your health." |
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| Lily Hearst echoes Perls' sentiment. "Life is wonderful," she says with a smile, "when you are healthy." |
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| Writer David R. Dudley is based in Berkeley, Calif. His stories have appeared in The New Physician and The San Jose Mercury News. |
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| Doctors Say Half of All Cancers Could Be Prevented - By Gay Frankenfield, RN |
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| WebMD Medical News - Reviewed by Dr. Dominique S. Walton |
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| July 27, 2000 -- When it comes to cancer risk, you may have more control than you think. Recent studies show that lifestyle plays a bigger role than heredity in many common cancers. In fact, the five cancers that claim the most lives share many modifiable risk factors, according to a report in a recent issue of the journal Cancer Causes and Control. |
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| "There's mounting evidence that more than half of all cancers can be prevented just by knowing the risk factors and taking simple measures to reduce them," says lead author Graham Colditz, MD, PhD, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and director of education at the Harvard Center for Cancer Prevention. These preventive measures include dietary changes, smoking cessation, alcohol reduction, weight control, and physical activity. |
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| Even though individual risk begins to take shape in adolescence, there's no time limit for making lifestyle changes. "Given what we know so far, there's no set time frame for behavior change, and even moderate lifestyle changes can help reduce your risk of cancer in the long run," says Karen Antman, MD, a professor of medicine at Columbia University and director of the Herbert Irving Comprehensive Cancer Center in New York City. |
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| "The risk factors that you can modify don't necessarily carry the same preventive weight for all cancers," Colditz tells WebMD, "but many are shared among the top five cancer killers. Plus, the combined effect of making several lifestyle changes is likely to reduce your overall cancer risk." |
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| To get the most out of your cancer prevention efforts, there are some simple steps you can take. |
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| To reduce the risk of lung cancer: |
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| Stop smoking cigarettes and cigars |
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| Avoid passive smoke as much as possible |
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| Increase intake of fruits and vegetables to five servings a day |
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| Take recommended protective measures if working around asbestos |
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| To reduce the risk of breast cancer:
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| Limit alcohol intake to one drink a day |
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| Lose excess weight in relation to your height |
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| Exercise for three or more hours a week |
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| Increase your intake of various vegetables |
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| Increase monounsaturated fats such as olive oil |
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| Reduce saturated fats such as meat and high-fat dairy products |
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| Talk to your doctor about oral contraceptives and estrogen replacement |
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| To reduce the risk of prostate cancer: |
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| Increase your intake of tomato-based foods such as spaghetti sauce |
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| Reduce saturated fats such as meat and high-fat diary products |
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| Exercise for three or more hours a week |
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| To reduce the risk of colon cancer: |
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| Take a coated aspirin tablet daily |
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| Limit alcohol to one drink a day |
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| Lose excess weight in relation to your height |
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| Exercise for three or more hours a week |
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| Increase folate-rich foods such as spinach, orange juice, and enriched cereal |
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| Increase intake of fruits and vegetables to five servings a day |
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| Reduce saturated fats such as meat and high-fat dairy products |
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| Have regular endoscopic screening examinations |
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| If you are a woman, talk to your doctor about oral contraceptives and estrogen replacement |
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| To reduce the risk of pancreatic cancer: |
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| Increase intake of fruits and vegetables to five servings a day |
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| Reduce intake of simple carbohydrates such as white bread and white potatoes |
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| The study was funded by the Harvard Center for Cancer Prevention. |
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| By Geraldo Rivera NBC NEWS |
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| It’s a gaudy and gold-plated place that’s become one of the most popular tourist destinations on the entire planet... Bugsy Siegel wouldn’t even recognize this place today. Spreading out from the heart of this gambling mecca is the fastest-growing city in America — and it just might be this country’s best bet for people trying to work their way up into the middle class. Aside from the casino owners and the entertainers, the bus boys and the maids, the drivers and the dancers, are also participating in the jackpot of prosperity. But for some, the dreaded nickname of this town still holds true today. Not Las Vegas, but “lost wages,” and these days the losers are falling harder than ever before. NBC News investigative correspondent Geraldo Rivera talks to the latest generation of those gambling in and gambling on Las Vegas. |
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| Las Vegas’s success as our perpetual playground has always been based on the town’s uncanny timing to know just when to change its image… and put on a brand new face. This time around Vegas is back as a global theme park — a place some say has forsaken its own storied past. |
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| “This is a town I’m not familiar with now,” says comedian Alan King. But he says, “I’m very pleased for the town.” |
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| King feels there’s something missing from the new Vegas playground. “The soul’s gone. There is no soul, you know, in Disneyland. Now, it’s bigger, but it’s not as much fun.” |
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| The intimacy this town banked on is long gone. The strip’s been sanitized for public consumption by the only people with the cash to pull it off — corporate America. |
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| Can you see a difference? |
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| “It really was the corporations and not the FBI that drove the mob out of town,” says author Peter Earley, who spent a year on the strip writing the book “Super Casino.” |
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| “You’ll never find a place like Las Vegas. And it is pure American. Where else but in the middle of the desert, where there should be nothing at all… would you build this great sanctuary to excess?” |
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| What’s really transformed the Las Vegas landscape is the emergence of the so-called super casinos — whether it’s the pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, or the entire NYC skyline, they’re actually hotels — hotels that are bigger, glitzier, more extravagant and expensive than any hotel man has ever built before anywhere. |
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| The Luxor — you could park nine 747’s in the lobby. It’s ancient Egypt with air conditioning… and over four thousand rooms. |
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| The Paris — France without attitude with cobblestone streets leading you through a constantly charming French village. |
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| And the Bellagio with Lake Como — tailored for tourists with dancing fountains and a Broadway beat. |
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| A gondola ride at the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas |
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| It’s an American fantasy, a glossy postcard from anywhere and everywhere you’d want to be. A city with an ambience and architecture only a genius or a child might dream up. |
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| Sheldon Adelson is the latest billionaire to reshape Vegas… a master builder. |
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| He brought Venice to the desert as a gift to his wife. |
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| “She said the combination of luxury, romance, and excitement would give us the longevity we were looking for,” says Adelson. |
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| More than two billion dollars was the price tag for that gift. |
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| Adelson says with laughter, “but who’s counting?” |
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| Is it a risky venture, so much capital invested? |
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| It isn’t, in Adelson’s mind. |
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| He was certain that if he built it, we would come to Venice all cleaned up without the flooding, no odor and no unsightly things floating in the canal. |
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| Adelson has duplicated every column, every bridge, every detail in his 3,000-room hotel… the Venetian. |
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| What’s really transformed the Las Vegas landscape is the emergence of the so-called super casinos — whether it’s the pyramids, the Eiffel Tower, or the entire NYC skyline, they’re actually hotels — hotels that are bigger, glitzier, more extravagant and expensive than any hotel man has ever built before anywhere. |
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| Right down to the pigeons on the piazza. |
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| The town’s vision of leisure as lifestyle has evolved to suit the whims of today’s world of armchair travelers and their disposable income. For professor Hal Rothman, Vegas is a window like none other on American culture. |
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| “What Las Vegas does is take the rough edges off of Paris or New York and clean’em off for you and make it a place where middle class America is very comfortable,” says Rothman. |
|
| Adelson says, “Las Vegas is truly a form of entertainment — that capital of entertainment. But the definition of entertainment has changed.” |
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| That change is felt by those who were one headliners in the old Las Vegas. |
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| “No, there’s very little [work] … there’s few places for me to work,” says King. |
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| And there’s only one performer who’s remained in the spotlight through all the remakes and changing times. That’s why he’s known as Mr. Las Vegas. |
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| “Part of what made Vegas great is the star policy entertainer. The saloon singer if you will… Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis… those are the people that made Las Vegas what it is,” says current Vegas headliner Wayne Newton. |
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| Wayne Newton, nightclub singer, kisses his fans during a performance. |
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| In fact, as the casinos have been recast as a spectacle for mass consumption, so has the entertainment industry. |
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| From King Arthur’s court, to a pirate battle, headliners like Wayne Newton now have to share the strip with white tigers and a host of newcomers. |
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| Like Stella Umeh, a former Olympic gymnast, who’s just come to town to be part of Cirque de Soliel’s “Mystere.” |
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| Selling out 3,000 seats a night, Stella is part of a cast of hundreds. |
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| “It’s performance art yet coupled with gymnastics and dance and acrobatics. So there are all these crazy circus things mixed in with the theater. So it is totally different from what a usual patron might be used to,” says Umeh. |
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| It’s a very long way from the Vegas made famous in the fiction of Martin Scorcese’s “Casino.” |
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| That was a time when the mob took its daily skim. The character Robert DeNiro played was Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal, a bookie turned top casino boss. |
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| “The aura, the feeling, the service was so far superior to today’s modern-day Las Vegas,” says Rosenthal. |
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| Today, Lefty’s banned from the casinos, blacklisted by an industry that he says has turned the town pedestrian and commonplace. |
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| “The best analogy I can give you is today it’s a subway scene, when I was there, it was limousine.” |
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| These days, Lefty and the mob are largely gone from Vegas. All you can find is one man who even knew the wise guys of the past. |
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| Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman says, “I’ve been here 35 years practicing law and the characters in the film ‘Casino’ I mean in real life they were all my clients.” |
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| Oscar Goodman built his reputation defending notorious Vegas mobsters like Tony Spilotro… but Goodman reinvented himself to suit a changing Vegas, and in 1999, was elected mayor. “I think that if we forget where we come from we lose our mystique. I often say that people want to see a little Bugsy Siegel around here and not a little Mickey Mouse.” |
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| But is city hall run by the mob? Goodman says no. |
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| Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman |
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| “City hall’s just not run by the mob… it’s run by the mayor. And the mayor… his relationship with the mob is a thing of the past.” |
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| Financial analyst Jason Ader says the mob is also a thing of the past with gambling in Vegas also. “There’s no fooling around anymore and for all intents and purposes the Mafia is out of the Las Vegas business, out of the casino business overall.” |
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| It’s the staggering profits now at stake — seven billion dollars a year — that keep Ader busy full time, keeping track of the super casinos for their new “boss” — Wall Street. |
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| He says, “if you are looking to deploy capitol into an exciting area that’s also generating a meaningful amount of profits, the casinos will show up as one of the best places to do that.” |
|
| And with that kind of legitimate backing behind the new Vegas, the X-rated side of town is tougher to find. |
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| Goodman says no. “There are more things to do here for adults than anyplace.” |
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| But Vegas isn’t just anyplace. For a century, its essence has been about pushing the boundaries of illicit fun. But, despite the town’s corporate clean up, its naughty reputation lives on. |
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| “Vegas has history,” says one stripper. “It’s the excitement of Vegas — everyone wants to come here.” |
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| “You can behave in ways that people at home would be embarrassed for you and here it’s totally acceptable, why because it’s Las Vegas, because it’s a sin-free zone. It’s a place where you can do whatever it is you want to do as long as you are willing to pay for it,” says Rothman. |
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| Earley says, “Vegas is a town of glitz and glamour, but underneath there’s also this underbelly of despair, of heartache, of sex. It’s the mirror image of the glitz and the glamour and it’s a very sad story.” |
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| It’s a story that lives in the shadows of the strip. But even there, the trail of money kicked off by the super casinos means business… even if it’s illegal prostitution. |
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| The super casinos have brought more business, says this Las Vegas prostitute. |
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| A Vegas prostitute says the super casinos have brought her more business. |
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| What does she know about Vegas that the rest of the country doesn’t? |
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| “Well, we say they come to gamble and pick up hookers. Well that’s basically what they do.” |
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| If the chamber of commerce says they come for the gaming and the entertainment, she say she is part of the entertainment. |
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| That’s about all that’s left of the old image of sin city. Today’s Vegas is being cleaned and scrubbed and remade, by a new force of legitimate working women and men. They are the ones making Las Vegas a different type of destination — a land of opportunity for those chasing the American fantasy of a better life. |
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| If the super casinos are what makes Las Vegas an irresistible draw for millions of tourists… it’s the jobs those casinos create that make Vegas a land of opportunity for the people who actually live here. This may be the best town in America for working men and women. It’s a new hot-bed of union power, a place where blue-collar dreams still come true. And as millions of American jobs continue to be exported overseas and factories continue to close down, many are calling Las Vegas the last Detroit. |
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| Glen Arnodo says “It’s pretty much the untold story of the American labor movement.” |
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| When Glen Arnado moved to Vegas in 1985, he thought it would be a lonely outpost for a labor organizer. |
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| Then came September 21, 1991, and the beginning of one of the hardest-fought battles in American union history. |
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| The marathon strike by the Frontier workers over wages and benefits was at times turbulent and violent. |
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| But it would galvanize the rank and file of Vegas into a national labor powerhouse. |
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| “It took a tremendous toll on people. We had a number of strikers die during the six and a half year strike. Uh, it was very hard… very hard. But on the other hand, it made the union real,” says Arnodo. |
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| “For the worker, for the immigrant, there’s no other way but the union way,” says Esmeralda Guzman. |
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| For 10 years, beginning as a teenager, Mexican-American Esmeralda Guzman picked fruit in the bitter fields of California’s San Joaquin Valley. But in 1993 she made her move to Vegas and found a way to begin breaking out of the cycle of permanent poverty. |
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| Why did she come to Vegas? |
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| Guzman says it was the economic opportunities that attracted her and her family. |
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| “I guess the best way to describe it is that people are handing out jobs left and right.” |
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| Workers are flocking to Vegas, 6,000 strong a month. Since the arrival of the super casinos, union membership has tripled — making this town one of the few places in the country where union power is on the rise. |
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| Arnodo says, “and so, we get people migrating or immigrating to Las Vegas from every point in the United States, and every country in the world.” |
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| For blue-collar workers, Vegas is perhaps the only place in America where they can earn as much as $75,000 a year. |
|
| It’s the human dimension of the new incarnation of the Las Vegas strip, the working class flipside generated by the explosive growth of the super casinos. |
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| “And for every room that we build here, for every new room, there are five families that have to move in to service it,” says Goodman. |
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| “This is where the action is, if you want to be excited about work, about play — this is the town to come to,” says Hattie Canty who supervises a training center for anyone willing to work. A former chambermaid, she is now president of the 50,000 member union representing cooks, dishwashers and maids. “And I’ve always said that the maids in this town carries this town on it’s back,” she says. |
|
| And with over 200,000 beds to make every day, Vegas has ironically become a new version of the classic American factory town. |
|
| Guzman says, “Maybe it’s pretty good wages compared to the rest of the country. But could you imagine doing it?” |
|
| She admits it is rough work. |
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| “Could you imagine cleaning 16 toilets, making 24 beds? There’s not a price on it.” |
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| The working class Vegas is rooted in the immigrant ideal of making life better for the next generation — even if it means enduring backbreaking work. |
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| “My Mom, she’s just like, comes home from work. She’ll eat like some food. Little dinner. She’ll go straight to bed,” says Abraham. He and his friends at Rancho High understand the depth of the sacrifice their parents have made. |
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| “It’s just the end of my mom’s health, you know? She’s a very hard-working woman. And um, she’s wearing herself out,” says Mariana. |
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| The teens believe the hardest part of their parents working so hard was that they had to basically raise themselves. |
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| That’s because Abraham’s mother Noemi Bresano — an educated woman from Guadalajara in Mexico has kept house in Vegas for more people than she can count. |
|
| “In Las Vegas? In 7 years? Probably like 12,000… or more” says Bresano. |
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| But the payoff for Noemi and Esmeralda’s families is the kind of modest, affordable home that can change their very lives. |
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| Guzman describes the day she first moved into her house. |
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| “Sometimes you think it’s never gonna happen. But it was like success. It was sweet.” |
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| This is where you will find the pioneer spirit of the old Vegas alive and well. With new homes going for as low as $70,000 these communities are changing the ethnic make-up of the Las Vegas Valley — now close to 200,000 Latino residents. |
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| “You can walk into any casino, and the work force there, they’re Latino,” says Amanda. |
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| She says while most of the customers are Anglos, the service people are Latinos. |
|
| And what would happen to Vegas if all the Latinos walked off the job? |
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| “Man, that wouldn’t be Las Vegas,” says Amanda. |
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| These kids understand that the tourists who pack the super casinos are roped off in the fun house — oblivious to the real lives being led off the strip. |
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| Amanda says, “they don’t realize there’s communities here, and they don’t realize there’s families here, you know? I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked, uh, which casino do you live in? What do you mean what casino do I live in? I live in a house.” |
|
| The legions of tourists and the people who service them live in a parallel universe — with little in common. |
|
| But has the fantasy world of the super casinos come at the price of ignoring the real world needs of Vegas’s new work force. |
|
| The answer may be yes — at least judging by the way 23,000 kids must go to school each day — jammed into stuffy, windowless boxes. |
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| The students agree that the city needs to catch up a little bit more… and less focus on casinos and a little more on education. |
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| “They put up casinos and bring them down so fast, it’s amazing. But yeah our schools need help,” says Amanda. |
|
| Five minority high school students suggest that the casinos get all the action, they get all the priority from government and that their schools… they lag behind. |
|
| “Well, they’re not right,” says Mayor Goodman. “These youngsters, they may have that feeling that the hotels are favored. If the youngsters feel they’re getting the short end of the stick, have’em come down to city hall, the mayor’ll take care of ‘em.” |
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| The truth is this is now the country’s fastest growing school system — adding 15,000 new students and building a dozen new schools a year. |
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| And it’s not just the schools… everywhere Vegas is bursting at the seams. |
|
| Not enough roads for all the cars, not enough access to the water needed for all the growth and good times. |
|
| And a dusty haze hanging over the once pristine valley. |
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| Can they manage the growth? |
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| “We have to manage the growth. We don’t have a choice. Because that’s what makes Las Vegas great,” says Goodman. |
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| “I don’t think it would be possible for any city to really keep up with growth like this. I think the growth is… the growth rate is just phenomenal. And I don’t know that there’s another example of it in… in American history, much less in the last fifty years,” says Rothman. |
|
| It’s the new frontier, a magnet for working people happy to overlook this town’s growing pains for a shot at a place in the latest version of Vegas. |
|
| So, Vegas may not be Sin City anymore, but is it the place where the American Dream lives? |
|
| Glen Arnodo still thinks so. |
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| “It really is. You know, uh, again, I, I can’t imagine many places where if you’re a hotel maid and you end up cleaning fifteen or sixteen rooms every day, at the end of the day you go home to your own house and uh, you can really achieve the American Dream, and have a pretty decent life for you and your kids.” |
|
| But there’s another kind of American dream in Vegas. It’s as old as the town itself — it’s an unattainable expectation of beating the house. |
|
| Peter Earley thinks it’s about getting something for nothing. “It’s about putting a quarter in the machine and winning a million dollars. It’s about imagining riches you could never win any other way.” |
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| Building the American dream in Las Vegas has not come without a price. |
|
| “As you drive by the volcano and you drive by the New York skyline and you drive by the wonderful pyramid, they are the reminder that some people have lost everything to build these castles in the sky,” says Earley. |
|
| The arrival of Las Vegas as a world-class destination has come with a cost not tallied in fantasies fulfilled or casino profits — but rather in lives destroyed by gambling |
|
| “Just thought about committing suicide, that’s all, I just wanted to die,” says Liz Neubauer, a gambling addict. |
|
| Liz is one of thousands of people the casinos would rather not talk about — a mother of three — she cheated her family as her gambling problem began to consume every aspect of her life. |
|
| “I wouldn’t even get in the doors — the video poker machines are right there and the first one that was vacant, that was mine. It’s cost me as much as $500 for a gallon of milk and I’ve gone home without the milk or the bread,” says Neubauer. |
|
| Liz’s home life became a ritual of lies to her loved ones. |
|
| LIz Neubauer, a gambling addict. |
|
| “I told my family I’ve been robbed. I took my son’s car payments and gambled it.” |
|
| What did Liz tell her son when she spent the car payment? |
|
| “Nothing… nothing,” says Neubauer. |
|
| Those who treat gambling addicts hear stories like Liz’s all the time. |
|
| “I would much rather be a heroin addict than a pathological gambler,” says Dr. Robert Hunter. |
|
| Hunter knows Liz’s story and the stories of countless other victims of Vegas. |
|
| “Prior to gambling, I think, you learn to deal with feelings primarily by pushing them down and away.” |
|
| Hunter runs the only non-profit clinic in town to help treat gambling addicts… those drawn to the county’s four thousand gaming tables and more than 130,000 slot machines. |
|
| “It is the silent addiction,” he says. “It is the hidden addiction. One of the old cliches is they don’t recognize us cause they don’t smell the cards on our breath.” |
|
| Why does Hunter feel this addiction is so secretive among gambling addicts? |
|
| “I think that the stigma for gamblers, it’s similar, I think, maybe to that of drug and alcohol patients thirty or forty years ago,” he says. |
|
| It’s an American addiction that doctors are just beginning to study and attempt to understand. At its heart is a compulsion as fierce as any addict strung out on drugs or alcohol. |
|
| “And I could just sit and, and I could zone out on those cards. And I didn’t have to think of where I should be, who I should be with or what I should be doing,” says Neubauer. |
|
| Liz says she worked just to support her gambling habit. |
|
| For all the changes that have come to Vegas, the workhorse of the casino floor continues to be the slot machine, the game of choice for middle America, especially women. Close to 70 percent of all gambling revenue flows through these one-armed bandits. It’s escape… it’s excitement… it’s a long-shot chance to win a jackpot that could be worth millions. But for some, it’s also a lonely compulsion — a solitary obsession. And one game in particular is undergoing increasing scrutiny charged with inflicting devastating human casualties. If gambling is like a drug than video poker is its crack cocaine. |
|
| Video poker machines are everywhere in Las Vegas, including laundromats. |
|
| “My track marks were video poker,” says Tami Coder, a mother of three, who deals blackjack in a casino. She must fight on and off the job to keep her addiction from tearing her family apart. |
|
| “I managed to gamble through an entire pregnancy with my youngest daughter. And uh, you know there’s a lot of guilt and shame that goes along with this. You feel like a monster,” says Coder. |
|
| Her husband Michael says it was a tough situation to deal with. |
|
| “It’s real emotional because it’s, this is something that had divided us. And has caused a great deal of anger and frustration in our family.” |
|
| So Tami and her husband found help from Dr. Hunter… where Michael’s revelation was the role he played in his own wife’s addiction. |
|
| “I think it was my fault. I introduced her to video poker,” says Michael. |
|
| “My patients gamble to escape, video poker is the perfect game to get lost in. It’s the distilled essence of gambling,” says Hunter. |
|
| Video poker takes down its victims — costing them their cars, homes, marriages — at a staggering rate… faster than drugs, alcohol or even other forms of gambling. |
|
| Hunter says, “the average problem gambler, it’s roughly twenty years from their first bet to what we call bottom. For video poker players it’s about two and a half years.” |
|
| And the machines can be found everywhere. |
|
| Tami says, “it’s very hard here if you have this problem, because you can’t get away from the video poker machines. They’re in the grocery stores. They’re in the 7-Eleven’s.” |
|
| The Coders say they have considered leaving Las Vegas because of the plethora of slot machines in the city. |
|
| Former Vegas Mayor Jan Jones condemns the everyday availability of gambling. |
|
| “I think that slot machines in supermarkets, in 7-Eleven’s and convenient stores, that’s not about entertainment. There’s a real difference there. That’s just about gambling.” |
|
| “Las Vegas is the city that we love to hate. But I think there is also an underlying guilt that there really shouldn’t be a Sodom and Gomorrah. Where people can go and spend money foolishly and get drunk and do crazy things and possibly win a lot of money. |
|
| “It probably took me about five months, it took, to lose it all,” says Carl Neilson, and the others like him who don’t know where to turn to get help for their gambling addiction and are trapped on skid row. |
|
| Eric Fricker of the metro police spends his days coping with the most severe causalities of Las Vegas. “We’ve interviewed thousands of homeless and there is a good percentage who are here because of gambling… but the other downside is once they do become homeless, the gambling helps keep them down sometimes. They’re gonna put their last quarter in and try to hit it big and maybe get out of being homeless.” |
|
| Neilson agrees. “Regardless of if you’re rich or you’re poor or you’re homeless... if you’ve got a gambling problem, you’re gonna go in that casino and play your last five dollars.” |
|
| And when it comes to problem gamblers, like everything in Vegas, it’s a question of the numbers. |
|
| Some experts think as many as six percent of the population find it impossible to walk away from a bet or a machine. If those numbers are correct that’s more than 75,000 people in the Las Vegas valley alone. |
|
| However the mayor feels that percentage is too high. |
|
| “The problem is really overstated. One percent has a problem as far as addiction is concerned,” says Goodman. “Okay… four percent’s a lot, one percent’s a lot. And we are trying to address that problem,” he adds. |
|
| With gambling luring millions of visitors to Las Vegas, super casino owners like Sheldon Aldelson are put on the defensive at the suggestion that they profit off the problems of gambling addicts. |
|
| “I think Las Vegas does do a lot to help problem gamblers. All of our employees are conversant at helping problem gamblers. When people seem to go overboard when they are playing, our people will put their arm around and say, uh, you know, we want to help you, what can we do, maybe you are playing a little too much,” says Adelson. |
|
| “When you have someone who’s losing the farm, you can tell. And I don’t know of anyone who has ever been banned from a casino because they’re an addict,” says Earley. |
|
| And although the super casinos netted seven billion dollars, Hunter’s clinic to help gambling addicts has only received $100,000 in corporate contributions. |
|
| Its doors could very well close in the next three months. |
|
| And yet the rule of the casino is to make money. How do you know when to stop? |
|
| “Where does the responsibility end? It’s an excellent question… we enforce that responsibility on drinking. If you’re a bartender and you serve somebody who’s drunk, obviously you can have some liability,” says Earley. |
|
| But in the end, the responsibility still falls on the shoulders of the addicts… and their willingness to try and turn away from the tantalizing web spun by an industry that could ultimately destroy their lives. |
|
| Neubauer says, “…I know that if I go back out there again I’m dead.” |
|
| But the kaleidoscope of dreams and desire that Vegas has become is something that others will never begin to understand. |
|
| Earley says, “Las Vegas is the city that we love to hate. But I think there is also an underlying guilt that there really shouldn’t be a Sodom and Gomorrah. Where people can go and spend money foolishly and get drunk and do crazy things and possibly win a lot of money. And I think sometimes that fear of letting yourself go, which is what Vegas is really all about, makes us kind of say, oh, isn’t this a horrible place? When can I book the next flight?” |
|
| This year another 33 million tourists from all over the world will be booking their flights to Las Vegas — coming for their cut of the American fantasy. |
|
| What they’ll have no trouble finding is all the excess of America. It’s reflected by the neon strip and the decadence of the super casinos. It’s testimony to the credo of pleasure and endless good times. |
|
| But if they look further they’ll also uncover the same news we did — that Las Vegas has become the latest outpost for a working person’s wager and that payoff is far richer in the long run than a good night at the slots. |
|
| Busgy Siegel’s town has gone corporate and that surprise has a whole new generation betting real-life odds on Las Vegas. |
|
| What Women Discuss When They Talk About Sex |
|
| After an incredible night of raw, lustful sex, Lisa and Roger part ways and call their friends the following day. |
|
| Roger: Hey David, I slept with Lisa last night man, it was great. |
|
| David: Was it good? Did she swallow? |
|
| Roger: Come on man, what do you think? First I drilled her and then she gave me the greatest licking of a lifetime. Oh man, and she was wild, I could do anything and she didn't mind. |
|
| David: Hey, when you're done with her, can I have a crack at it? I'm just kidding buddy, why don't you come over and watch the game? |
|
| Lisa: Hi Joanne, you'll never believe what Roger and I did last night. We went to a hotel and made passionate, erotic love. Oh my goodness, first he kissed me so soft and deep, like he's been dying to kiss me for ages. Then he slowly unbuttoned my blouse and licked on my nipples gently, I thought I was going to have an orgasm right then and there. |
|
| Joanne: Oh my G-d, you're so lucky. How long did the foreplay last? |
|
| Lisa: At least two hours, he really appreciated my body. He was licking and biting me everywhere. After we had intense sex, I decided to let him lay back and relax and I pleasured him. And I know you're going to freak out but… well, you know, "good to the last drop…" |
|
| Lisa: I sure did, and it actually tasted sweet. I can still feel him all over me. |
|
| Joanne: Okay, we have to meet for coffee, I want all the details. |
|
| Why is it that two people who just shared a very intimate experience together seem to recall the entire episode so differently? Is it because men really are from Mars? No, it's because men and women pay attention to different details. |
|
| So what do women talk about when they talk about sex? How about every possible minute detail known to man? No stone is left unturned when the girls get together to gab about the beast with two backs. |
|
| If you've always wanted to know what your gal tells her friends about the day after the night before, then today is your lucky day because I'm about to let you in on a couple of secrets. |
|
| It's like they say in business; it's all about "location, location, location," and sexual scenarios are no different. She pays attention to the candles, the incense, the trance-like music -- the entire setting is part of the foreplay. |
|
| Don't get me wrong, if you ended up having sex in the shopping mall bathroom, that's equally adequate. The point is, women usually pay attention to their surroundings. That's not to say they expect scented candles and a hint of jasmine in the air, it just helps if you know that our senses are always hard at work. |
|
| How is foreplay discussed among the ladies? |
|
| The way the whole session starts and the foreplay that follows are about 4000 times more important than the actual act of lovemaking. In all honesty, what turns you on more: having sex, or knowing that you're going to have sex? In any case, the approach always becomes quite a topic for discussion. |
|
| If you run your fingers through her hair, lightly shove her against the wall, and start kissing her, or approach her from behind and bite her neck, that'll definitely make for a great tete a tete with her bosom buddies. And more than that, if you can make her incredibly wet just by kissing her or better yet, by maintaining control and teasing her, she will be dying to shout out what a good lover you are over a megaphone. |
|
| Sometimes guys happen to say some awesome things in the midst of lovemaking, without fully realizing what great discussion pieces they'll make over cappuccinos with the girls the next day. The words you utter are just as important as how well you penetrate her. |
|
| Now before you get your underwear in a knot, I'm not referring to that whole "I want you to be the mother of my children" kind of lingo. I'm talking about dirty, kinky talkers. If you whisper things like, "I want to hear you scream" or "show me how bad you want me," she'll be sure to mention that to the girls. |
|
| Keep in mind that it's not like women are keeping mental notes in the midst of your session, but when someone does or says something memorable, kinky or hideous, it's not soon forgotten. If a woman told you that you were the best kisser she's ever had the pleasure of laying her lips on, would you soon forget it? That's what I thought. |
|
| the shape, the color, the size |
|
| Yes, yes, we talk about your penis the same way you talk about our breasts. And not just the penis, but also your entire physical make up. Soft, muscular, thin, thick, long, solid, tan, pale, and hard as a rock are only a few adjectives used to describe what men look like. |
|
| When we talk about penises, we don't just discuss their size. We discuss the texture, the hair factor, the girth, length, the color, oh, and women talk about your testicles too. Just like breasts, men's "sacks" come in all shapes and sizes, and we need to keep on top of things (pun fully intended) via discussion. |
|
| Does the sack hang? You mean he doesn't trim? What do you mean there was only one? Okay, the last question doesn't really happen, but you get the general idea. The bottom line is that your whole body is up for discussion, so keep yourself in tiptop form gentlemen; it may cost you a good lover if you don't. |
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| What did she have to say about the sex? |
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| "It was amazing, first while he was on top of me, he would stare right into my eyes and whisper my name with every thrust. Then it was like something came over him, and he stood me up, turned me around, bent me over the couch and got me from behind. And his hands were everywhere, not to mention his tongue. We must've had sex in every position known to man that night. He was so amazing that I can still feel him all over me." |
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| Okay, so perhaps that doesn't sum up every woman's sexperience, but it gives you an idea of how a positive sexual experience can make a woman feel inside and out. If you can make her feel the after-effects of sex the day after (I don't mean bruises and teeth marks; I'm referring to flashbacks and goose bumps at the thought of the experience), the remnants will last for a long time afterwards. Sort of like the aftershock of an earthquake. |
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| When it comes to sex, some women will go the distance and describe every kinky, nasty thing you've done, while other women will keep their lips sealed. So don't assume that every woman calls up her friends and gives them a detailed description of every shoot and squirt you make. Some women believe that keeping their sex life to themselves makes the entire sexual experience that much more stimulating. |
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| If you were a horrible lover, not only will she tell her friends every gory detail, she'll be using all sorts of unattractive analogies to describe the experience. For instance, "Have you ever watched two dogs getting it on? Well, let's just say that they probably had more passion happening than we did -- and they probably lasted longer too." |
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| If her sexual experience was terrible, she'll need her friendly support team to convince her that these things sometimes happen. If you're a selfish lover or leave her feeling unsatisfied and inadequate, it's likely that she won't be having sex with you again in the near future. |
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| And as I mentioned women's senses before, if you don't smell good or worse, you taste like a combination of armpits and filth, then her senses will shut down and so will her sexual appetite. So keep yourself prim, proper and ready for poon-tang at all times. |
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| Keep in mind that your objective is to make it a pleasant experience for the both of you, not just yourself. Otherwise, you'll eventually find yourself making love with your two hands more often than not. |
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| As I said before, keep in mind that not every single woman finds a thrill in discussing her sexual prowess with friends. Also, some women fear that if they tell other women what a fantastic lover they have, those same women would want to get a piece of the action. I think a lot of guys know what I'm talking about from their own experiences. |
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| Just as well, all guys don't broach the topic of their sexual experiences by scratching their crotch and mimicking the doggy style position, while specifying how often they tapped that a**. Some guys don't kiss and tell, and they are usually the ones who make the best lovers. |
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| And while we're on the topic, I'm quite sure that it's safe to assume that some guys even discuss their sessions with as much detail and vividness as women, and to those guys, all I have to say is, "Let's meet for coffee and talk about last night." |
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| Until next time, always use protection and discuss sex amongst yourselves. |
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